I'm Addicted to Supper!!!!!!!

I AM THE HUNGRY MONSTER!

I'm hungry every 2-3 hours!

I'm addicted to daily suppers> nasi lemak, roti pisang, loh bak, hokkien char, anything also can, bring it on, PLEASE!

In the beginning, life wasn't like that. Simply because I put a restraint on myself. Firstly, I didn't want to put on too much weight (cos I've been struggling with weight issues for as long as I can remember). Plus, I live in an apartment, so it's too much trouble to go down the flight of stairs, drive out the guard house (with access card, mind you) just to get food. So, I'll just deal with the hunger pangs, tell myself that it'll be a couple of hours til breakfast, try to fall asleep and ignore the tummy groaning.

It all started when the Doctor gave me the green light. The good Doctor was concerned cos I wasn't putting on weight and baby was a tad underweight as well. And boy, did that green light awaken the HUNGRY MONSTER in me! Especially since my darling hubby obliged in feeding me at late nights/ early mornings!

And now, I'm a hopeless supper junkie. So much so that I'd wake up with a headache (or migraine) in the middle of the night if I'm hungry...

Hunny, I miss you. You are my food provider! My tum~tum satisfier. Where for art thou, my love?

The Hopes And Fears Of All The Years; Are Met In Thee Tonight

According to the pregnancy ticker, it'll only be 5 weeks and 4 days til baby's arrival. According to my gynae, it'll be no more than 2 weeks time cos baby has to be delivered via c-section. I think this clash of theory is what keeps me awake at nights and in the wee hours of mornings because either way (i.e. normal or c-section), I am petrified!

Don't get me wrong. I mean, I can't wait to hold baby in my arms but normal delivery is definitely going to be painful. Caesarean - I've kinda done it before but who says it's not painful? Just the thought of operating knives cutting through your 7 layers of skin and then doctor reaching IN ME to bring baby out is like a flash from a horror show!

So, tell me. How exactly does one sleep peacefully in moments like these?

Yet at the same time, a baby is all my hubby and I have been yearning for over the last couple of years to close the void in our 'family' life. And we have been so ecstatic, so glad to be finally blessed with the chance of having our own little family throughout the whole pregnancy - except how does one remain optimistic when in fear? At times I feel like screaming bloody murder because as much as we both desired this pregnancy, why do I have to be the one who has to go through the excruciating terror and pain of childbirth? How is that fair in this so called 'equal' world? At times like these, it seemed that the feminist revolution was merely a big hogwash. End of the day, I believe there isn't such a thing as equal status among men and women. Honestly, give me some loving and pampering any time of the day, smoochie.

But I digress. I suppose these feelings are nothing new and I guess every new mom has felt it as she inches closer to her delivery date, no?

Baby, just so you know>>>Your mum ain't as tough as she always thought she was! Nevertheless my child, I pray that you receive the gifts of faith, hope and love. I wish for you that you are compassionate to the less fortunate, that you are warm, understanding, helpful, diplomatic. But above all, I pray that you carry in you huge quantities of humility and use this humility whenever you come in contact with humanity.

It will only be a matter of time before you join your daddy and me here and begin your lifelong education as a human being.

Eagerly awaiting your arrival,

Mom & Dad.