Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Definition of My Days

Here goes some ramblings....

What’s to say about anything? Sometimes I feel like im 16 again and im not sure who I am as if my body is not mine but my mind is mine. And sometimes my heart too doesn’t feel like it is mine. Hah!

Relationships, work dramas… story of our lives… what’s to say I ask you? 1 day you're up there floating in the rltnshp, next mo, you get ur hot air balloon burst by an arrow shot off by some unknown sharpshooter out there to get at ya! Same goes with work. One day I think hey, I love it here, I can see myself for years here, doing the same thing and that perhaps this is more family than it gets. We spend 9 hours here, and in fact we're in closer 'physical presence' contact with them colleagues than we are with our own kin and kind! How many hours do we actually spend sitting close by our family members while at home? On our days off, we could be in our rooms (alone), wired to the net (alone), doing our chores (alone) or heavens out of the house (with our friends)! Heck, we sure need a social life right? Then the next mo I can feel ostracized by them very colleagues I'm in such close contact with but not really blame them cos I’m quite the serious loner as I’ve been all my uni days so can’t blame em for not quite knowing what to say to me also right?

But hey, at least right here and now, I do not think life sux anymore. I’m actually kinda soaking in the sucky feeling… inhaling it, feeling it perpetrate rite into my bones and evaporate into my blood BUT…from an outsider’s point of view. That's good ain't it?

I hate Tuesdays. Does anyone know just how much I hate Tuesdays? Mondays are ok cos it’s the 1st day of work after the weekend and love it or loathe it, we all need to work for our bread and butter right? Nowadays it's more like for our house loan, car loan, education loan, shopping, food, yadda,yadda..So Monday, we wake up, we get ready and we go to work and there’s A LOT of work normally so it goes by real fast. Then comes Tues, and hey, Mon’s gone so u gotta crawl thru Tues. Wednesday is pretty cool cos it marks MIDWEEK [i.e:1 more day to Fri]. I LOVE Fridays. Did I tell you I love Fridays? But Thurs, there’s another lousy day in a week! It’s like the anti-climax. Like here’s all that orgasm for Wednesday BCOS of Friday…BUT WAIT, there’s one more day to it! *SIGHHHH* so there’s the anti climatic Thursday for ya. And then finally its Friday [FINALLY!!!]

Hehehe…. so that’s the ups and down I go thru in my work week. Sat is real cool cos Sat is MY day! I try to spend the whole of Sat pampering myself simply cos it screams of MMMEEEEEEEEEE time My Sat starts with me waking at about 7.30/8am to practice on the organ, class is from 10 – 10.30am. Then take a lazy stroll alone in a supermarket/bookstore, whatever. Or go home, have lunch and laze by the TV, do my nails, get a facial once a month, nap, watch a VCD with my lil’ bro, you get the idea…..

And Sunday is usually family time unless Chief is off, then it’s a 50-50 between Chief and family.

So there’s my life in a nutshell. Anyone itching to analysis me?

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Happy Birthday baby girl....

Someone very close to my heart turned 18 today. Someone whom I grew up with and just recently, has decided to spread her wings and fly. It's strange to feel these emotions so strong for someone who I spend quite a lot of time arguing with. *Sigh* I guess this is 1/4 of what the 'empty nest' syndrome feels like for parents when their children start to spread their wings and test its strength.

It's funny how the only time we rush to get older is when we're in school. And then 7-8 years after school, during mamak sessions, we bring back the old "Remember how we used to .... " "Remember that girl/guy in tuition class.." "Remember that teacher we made her cry..." and of course it ends with *sigh* "Those were good times..." & "I wish I could go back to school days". I wish I could warn the current school batch to take 1 day at a time cos soon, b4 they know it, things would get so different. But just like us, they too wouldn't listen until it's too late.

Does God feel like that? Trying to advise us, warn us bcos he's wiser and knows better, but we refuse to take heed and instead thinks the advise is just to hinder us, restrict us?

Hell I miss school. I miss the times I had with this someone (who isn't a part of my school memories but a very big part of my past and of who I am). 'She' isn't dead. But here is one instance where if I could turn back time, I would do things differently. We were both growing. And the process made us grow apart.

I hope one day you will read this. I hope one day I will have the guts to ask you to read this. And I love u. And Happy 18th Birthday big gurl! May God Bless You with a strong conscience and the Holy Spirit to lead you onwards in all the paths and decisions you make.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I am W-O-M-A-N. Hear me ROARRRRR!!!!

I read a book (and am still reading) titled Mirage by Soheir Kashoggi, about the different practices between how the Arabic world treated their women and how one woman's escape to America made all the difference.

Can you imagine living in an era where as a woman, you simply do not exist in your husband's eyes but to please him and fulfill his wants and needs? Living in the shadows in the same house among a separate world (a woman's world), not speaking unless spoken to, always looking downwards and heaven forbid! looking directly at a man's face. Can you live like that? Can you exist for no ulterior reason but to bring a son into the world? For when you bring his son into the world, you will be known for the rest of your life as Ali's mother (for instance)>>UMMI ALI. And your own name will cease to be for you will only be known as so-and-so's wife or so-and-so's mother. Imagine if you are a daughter... Your mother will never be known as YOUR mother but instead your BROTHER'S mother! And on top of all that, your dear husband whom you try so hard to please, can choose to marry another 3 wives.

Fast forward to this week, and I read an article in The Star that more and more Filipino husbands are volunteering to be HouseHusbands while the wife goes out to earn the bacon. And they do it willingly as their form of contribution to the household.[But then again, is our society open to this change or are these men simply lazy and do we, the women grumble and resign oursleves to being the breadwinner or do we accept this 'unnatural' shift in gender roles?

And if this is Philippines, imagine America!

So how do we bridge the two extremes? Apparently, in some small states/countries in the Middle East and Africa, the old world mentality still exists. Can you imagine yourself there?

It's hard to answer to that Question. Because as much as I can't imagine the late 70's, early 80's where Banks in Malaysia were still mostly without computers and depended on the paper related filing system, I however, do believe that women were gifted by that very extra bit of compassion which makes a woman the ultimate caregiver for the kids and the house and her man. I do believe that a woman, as vulnerable and sensitive as she may be, is also on the other hand the species furnished with extra 'care&concern' chromosomes.

And for this I am thankful. Because if not for the extra 'care&concern' genes, our sensitive&vulnerable side will rationalise that any guy courting us who doesn't buy us flowers, deserves to have the door shut in his face!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Obligation to Work...

So 'cam' one must go to work... but do u know that the bible says humans must go to work?? aiyo... lagi 'die-die' lah... How to tell the Great Dude up there that we're (maybe, me only...) a bunch of lazy monkeys? I mean, you may secretly take time off from work and go kai-kai or take a smoke break or a 'surf the net' break or (God forbid!)a fabricated MC!! (eh, Boss, not me ok..I know some ppl do, but not me! never me!tsk,tsk...bad ppl!) Anyway, when the Boss pops over, u pretend to be hardworking right? Unless ur boss is as cool as mine... (not to say he's a bad boss, he's just real cool!! Hehe... I sit next to my boss (well, kinda) so at least if he reads this, he knows I mentioned him AND thinks he's COOL!! :) smart or not? But, and, and.... me oso quickly change the stuff on the screen when Boss looks my way wat... its called Guilt Conscience mah...

Anyway, yeah, so we all show the boss that we're hardworking.... only cos he's human, we can pretend to u know.... but now... now the Great Dude says we gotta work!!! Check 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15 (*gasp* a whole sub chapter complete with a title to it too!!!) So how lar? He (as the world presumes the Great Dude to be a He) supposedly sees all and hears all and heck, even knows all that we think before we even think it! Wei, I ask again... HOW LAR??

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

a baby's cries moulds the world

I heard a baby cry a few days ago.

And now I can immediately visualised the sharp, shrieking sound.

And what comes to mind is that all babies cry alike, no matter black, white, yellow or brown.

Babies come into the world innocent.

Yet they grow amidst all sorts of messages pounded into their being, their conscience.
  • The fairer skin is better than the darker
  • The thinner child is better acknowledged than the plump one
  • The prettier, better looking one is given more attention to than the plain looking

And soon they learn that

  • The rich is better favoured to than the middle class income
  • The one who drives a car is better than the one who takes public transportation

And soon they lose all sense

  • Saving the environment by cycling a bicycle to short distances is a stupid
  • Mingling among the poor (and darker skinned) reduces one's status
  • Even one's faith in the Divine is questioned by external forces as one should have some faith but not too much as it can restrict one's growth in the material world
  • In that sense, profound religious beliefs also halters one's growth towards riches because 'How can you accept MODERATION and not work for more money?' and 'How can you friend all kin and kind and not care about yours and your parents' 'face'?'

Sigh.... and the baby's crying goes on.

And the baby's crying lingers on in my head, a long prolonging cry, pleading to the world to listen

Are you innocent of discrimination? Of chasing the materials in this world?

Or are you guilty of corrupting babies?

Friday, June 24, 2005

Here's What the Princess Looks Like


Well, I bet the Blog would look way nicer with a caption of the chieftain herself wouldn't it? so fyi, this is what the Princess looks like.
Here sitting in all her splendour is Princess Running Water and behind her is the Red Indian chief whom she has claimed for her own. *che wah* wait til he sees this... yup that's the one man in my life. The Alpha and Omega. The person who made a difference for me and the one man who claimed me as his shawnee princess, accepted and beloved by his birth right clan, adored and loved by the most important man in the world. well, I ain't kidding. I take care of him, and he takes care of me. I'm his baby and his my Master... *cough, choke, ok, ok enough already!* too much info overload, so much so that I might be getting sick myself!
DISCLAIMER: CAUTION: ALL THOSE WHO GET WEAK IN THE STOMACH ON A DOLLOP OF MUSHINESS, HELL, I AIN'T TO BE HELD LIABLE OK! GO DO AN ENDOSCOPIC ON YOUR TUMMY, GO SEE UR PANEL DOCTOR! teeeheee....

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Today I Almost Died.....*Phew*

Hello all and yes I almost died...[aiya...not THAT type of die, die lar...CHOY so SUEY wan!!] can u imagine, I was itching to add a new blog but had heaps to do today and finally [FINALLY] had some time at around 3.20pm to toy around and the damn server thing said something about my office proxy blocking me from accessing this site!!!!!!!!!!

Hell I almost died!Me, the Princess... just 2 days old and I had to say good bye forever. Well, guess I could add entries at home during weekends...BUT the Blog thingy is what gave me hope and saved me from the routine of DEATH called work in the first place! and now they wanna keep me away? keep me off from the one indulgence I get 5 days a week????? Not suprisingly, tots of resigning the company ran thru my head liao....aiyo..

But thank GOD! I logged off and re-double clicked on the IE logo and waited, and waited, and waited some more for something [ANYTHING] to appear on my screen........ *cats & dogs 1*cats & dogs 2*cats & dogs 3*cats & dogs 4*, etc,etc,etc.....

And then GOD did take pity on me and VOILA! It appeared! I could get into my world and was blessed enough write my daily dose of crap!!AH...ALLELUIA!ALLELUIA!

AMEN.

PS: well if nothing else, at least the false alarm managed to get me to open my eyes real big, big [like teacup saucers from that story 'The Tinderbox']. And now, I'm not 'sweeepy' anymore... 2 hours and a bit more work till going home time.. *SIGH*
PPS:Thank you suanie, dannyfoo, jolene and raksha for dropping in, saying hi [dancing in the colors] and welcoming me. Your kindness does not go unnoticed. Next time bring a glass of milk and chocolate muffins ok!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Ahhhh... The Gr8 SHE has graced my humble webbie!!!

I can’t believe she visited!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe she visited AND she left a comment!!!!
*all hail Her Royal Majesty Ms MINISHORTS of Malaysia!!!* [knee all! hail I tell you! HAIL!]

Well, to the uninitiated, Princess Running Water was born to the digital world only yesterday -21/june/05. And she attributed her royal birth to MINISHORTS for like many, she [the Princess, not the Majesty] was a virgin blogger until she stumbled onto minishorts interview in a certain M'sian daily and continued to further stumbled onto her webpage. And then stumbled on some more to Capt. Carcinogen & Belacans babies. ahhhh.... the rest HISTORY liau lar..... I GOT HOOKED! HOOKED I TELL YA!

So after my first posting, before I left the office, I emailed minishorts, explaining how she's my role idol, telling her to thank the Capt. and the Belacan dude for me, for she's my saviour who saved me from the boring, drudgery life of THE-ULTIMATE-SLOW-DEATH routine called WORK, blah, blah, blah, etc.....

Nuff' said... aiyo.... after my *water face* will drop lar like this... [for the uninitiated, water face = air muka lor! aiya, like dat also dunno ar?] tsk, tsk, tsk.... teeheee...

ANYWAYYYYYYYY........

I checked my webbie in the morning and there was nothing, zippo, nadda, zilch. So I figured, nyah… she’s a big short now [pun intended...mini shorts, big shorts....GEDDIT?aiyo...] cos got into Star 2 liau…. Won’t happen, she won’t grace my site.

But u know what? I checked at 4pm and there was 1 comment! Tot it was from Blogspot.com but looky-here!!!! Well, blimey! It was from the CREATOR herself!!!

Well, first off, thank you! Thank you! Thank you minishorts! This blogger’s spirit was going so dooowwnnnn wondering ‘how the heck to make my page beauuutifulllllll??’ and mainly ‘how to advertise to get traffic in?’ but then I saw ur grace *ahem* and I’m right on it again! Well, here I come!


Thanks again minishorts!
~Have a great day aight~

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Woooohooo my 1ST Intellectual Property Baby!!!!

Ah well, here's the start of a new dawn (the dawn of a new start?)...

WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO THE KINGDOM OF MOZART. WHERE THE WATER STILL RUNS IN STREAMS (crystal clear, with electric coloured fishes flashing their beautiful colours beneath the baby tides), AND THE WOODS IS BIG (with tree roots sprawling [crawling] all over the earth), THE LEAVES ARE ABUNDANT (and green) AND YET SUNLIGHT STILL GLIMPSES ITS WAY THROUGH THE RICH, THICK BEAUTIFUL FOLIAGE...
(although it is my birth, yet i don't expect the news to spread like a forest fire yet...)

Here, you can run thru the woods (be careful of the roots!) (or walk if you may) and catch flashes of innocent sunrays keeping you warmth and better yet watch sunbeams dancing on the many stream beds, personified with life by the 7 colours of the rainbow.

Here too lives a princess.. 'Maeva Ariki!' (long live the princess!)

Here is where the story begins. Here is where the popular saying ' The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step' originated from.

LONG LIVE THE PRINCESS. LONG LIVE PRINCESS RUNNING WATER.