Life has been nothing but complicating and challenging this year. First, it was 'To work or not to work?' and the answer was an easy one. Not to work. Take a breather for a month, then return back to the scene.
A month has come and now it's the second month. I've sent in application after application and I've been getting interview calls after interview calls. But guess what? I've been turning them down mostly. It's such a 'high' to be called in for an interview. But then the night before (like tonight), baby gives a helluva lot of trouble and I know in my heart of hearts that I just won't be able to cope.
Don't get me wrong, mind you. I started out with genuine intentions. My brain is fucked bored at home.
But when in doubt, baby is my biggest, most priceless gift. A gift from God. A gift from the Universe. It all boils down to baby defining my reason for living, mind you. *SIGH*
That's why I need to blog. It helps me clear my perspective when I put things in words. Always did. Always will. It all seems so clear to me now. I was and am in the process of acquiring a job that has a vacant position in September 2011. Baby would be a year old then. Perfect right? Then why am I looking at other jobs, pray tell? Why? I have been 'offered' the 'perfect' job then why am I still hunting?
Let me tell you why. It's because the other options come with a position I never thought I would be eligible for and a promise of a handsome salary. It's like being tempted by the devil when you have what you need in the clutch of your hand. pfffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttt!~